The Diary of a Nobody

2010-02-19T14:05:00.000Z

Before he left for work, Lupin said, “Look, I’m really sorry about the Langella shares. If the boss had been around, it wouldn’t have happened. Actually, I suspect something’s up. No one’s seen Josh for a couple of days now, and there’s been a lot of calls from people who’re very keen to speak to him”.

In the evening, Lupin was heading out to avoid the chance of meeting Gowing and Cummings, when Gowing walked straight in doing his usual “may I come in?” routine.

Lupin and I were surprised to find he was really jolly. We avoided saying anything about Langella, but he raised the subject himself. He said, “Hey, those Langella shares completely collapsed, didn’t they. Not so smart now, eh Lupin? How much did you lose?" I was astonished when Lupin said “Nothing at all, mate. There was some cock up when the agreement was transmitted, so I never got mine. Charlie here lost £630”. I said, “What? I thought you’d invested. Otherwise I wouldn’t have got involved”. Lupin said, “Ah well, c’est la vie. You’ll more than make it back if you double up on the next tip. That’s the way it goes”. Before I had a chance to say anything, Gowing said, “Well, I didn’t lose a penny either. From some of the chat I’d heard, it was a bit too risky, so I persuaded Cummings to take my £525 of shares. He was a lot more confident about it”.

Lupin burst out laughing and said, “Alas poor Cummings! He’ll have lost over a grand”. The doorbell rang. Lupin said “If that’s Cummings, I don’t want to see him”. If Lupin had gone to the front door, he’d have run into Cummings, so he opened the French windows and ran out. Gowing stood up and said, “Me neither”, and followed suit.

I was scandalised to think that my own son, and one of my best friends could leave like a pair of criminals interrupted in the middle of a burglary. Cummings was very upset, and very angry with Lupin and Gowing. I offered him a little whisky, but he said he’d given it up. He said he’d have a glass of buckwheat beer instead, because the doctor on GMTV had said it was really healthy. I’d never heard of it. Carrie popped down to Oddbins to try and get some.

2010-02-18T14:04:00.000Z

A number of times recently, Carrie’s pointed out that I’m going thin on top. This morning I was trying to check it out with a small hand mirror. I jogged my elbow against the edge of the chest of drawers and dropped the mirror, which smashed. Carrie got really het up – she’s ridiculously superstitious – and then, to make matters worse, I found that a large framed photo of me had dropped off the wall in the living room, and the glass had cracked.

Carrie said, “You mark my words. We’re going to have bad luck”.

I said, “Rubbish”.

In the evening, Lupin arrived home and seemed edgy. I said, “What’s up?" He faffed around, but eventually said “You know those Langella shares I told you to invest in?" I said, “Yes. Everything OK on that front?" He said, “Well, not really. The price collapsed. It came as a real shock to the market”.

It came as real shock to me too. I didn’t know what to say. After a while, Lupin said, “You’re lucky, actually. I was tipped off early, sold them immediately, and managed to get 10%, so at least you’ve got something”.

I was relieved. I said, “I wasn’t banking on getting six or eight times the investment, as you’d reckoned. But £70 is quite a good return in such a short time”. Lupin, a bit shirty, said, “Don’t be thick. What I meant was I sold your £700 of shares for £70, so you’ve lost £630. As for Cummings and Gowing - they’ve lost the full amount because I couldn’t shift them”.

2010-02-17T14:14:00.000Z

The first thing I saw on opening the Mail was “Thieving Fat Cat Flees” (the fat cat in question being Cleanands). I showed it to Carrie and she said, “Perhaps it’s for Lupin’s own good. I never thought it was the right kind of job for him”. I thought the whole thing was very alarming.

Lupin came down to breakfast. I could see he was pretty upset, and I said, “We’ve heard about it already. I’m really sorry”. Lupin said, “How did you know? Who told you?" I handed him the Mail. He slapped it down and said, “Oh, I don’t give a shit about that. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t seen it coming. But this – it’s come right out of left field”. He then read us a message from Frank Mutlar on his iPhone, which said quite matter-of-factly that Daisy was going to marry Murray Posh next month. I exclaimed, “Murray Posh! Isn’t that the bloke Frank had the cheek to bring round here not so long ago?” Lupin said, “Yes. The guy from lowpriceposh.com”.

We all ate our breakfast in total silence.

In fact, I couldn’t eat anything. It wasn’t just that I was worried: I can’t eat smoked back bacon. It’s got to be streaky or nothing.

When Lupin got up to go, I noticed a rather malicious smile come over his face. I asked him what it was about. He said, “Ah well, there’s some small consolation: I’ve just remembered that Murray Posh put £20K into Langella, on the back of my recommendation”.

2010-02-12T14:04:00.001Z

In the evening, I spoke to Lupin about his engagement to Daisy. I asked him if he’d heard from her lately. He said, “No. She promised that tit of a father that she’d not have any contact with me. I still see Frank though. In fact he might be round this evening”. Frank called, but said he wouldn’t come in because he had a friend called Murray Posh waiting outside. He added that Murray was a bit of a toff. Carrie asked Frank to invite him in.

He came in, along with Gowing who’d turned up at the same time. Murray Posh was tall and slightly heavily built and clearly rather nervous. He said he’d not go anywhere in a minicab again until he was certain of the driver’s credentials.

Murray Posh

When Gowing was introduced, with his usual tact he said “Are you connected with lowpriceposh.com, the designer seconds thing?” Murray said “Yes, but just to be clear, I don’t wear the seconds myself. I don’t really have a hands-on role in the business”. I said, “I wish I had a business like that”. Murray seemed pleased, and gave us a long but very interesting insight into e-commerce.

Murray obviously knew Daisy very well indeed from the way he was talking about her, and Frank once said to Lupin “Better watch out, or Murray will be in there!”. When they’d gone, I referred to what Frank had said, and Lupin said sarcastically, “If you get jealous, you’ve got no self-respect. I’d have to have a pretty low opinion of myself to get jealous of a fat oaf like Murray. I’ve told you, Daisy will wait ten years for me if she has to. In fact, you can double that”.

2010-02-11T14:03:00.000Z

I was feeling very concerned about Lupin, so eventually I decided to mention it to Barry Perkupp. He’s always been dependable, so I told him everything, including what had happened yesterday. He was very good. He said, “Don’t fret, Charles. It’d be well nigh impossible for Lupin to turn out badly when he’s got such good parents. Come on, he’s young, and he’ll grow older and wiser. I wish we could take him on here”. It took a load off my mind. In the evening, Lupin came in.

After supper, he said “Mum, dad: I’ve got some news which’ll probably be fairly significant for you”. I got a bad sense of foreboding, but didn’t say anything. Lupin said, “It’ll probably upset you, but today I decided to get rid of the car”. OK, it seems a bit strange, but I was so pleased that I cracked open a bottle of Jacob’s Creek. Gowing dropped in, just in time, and showed us a programme on the computer which lets you morph people’s faces into weird shapes. We did it to some of our digital shots. I laughed so much I was aching when I went to bed.

2010-02-07T14:03:00.000Z

Lupin persuaded Carrie to take a drive in his RX8. I didn’t want her to go. I was concerned about her safety so I offered to go as well. Lupin said, “Good on you, buddy. You be OK squeezing in the back? There’s not much space”.

Lupin put on a pair of weird sunglasses, and a baseball cap back to front with “Jack Wills” written on it. Carrie said he looked ridiculous. Lupin said “Never heard of Aviators? I wouldn’t be seen at the wheel of this little baby in anything else”.

I don’t care what he wears in future when he’s driving. I’m never getting in a car with him again. His driving was horrendous. He went up to the M25 and started doing about 100 in the outside lane. He was tail-gating, flashing his lights, and weaving in and out of the traffic. Scandalous lack of lane discipline. Since I was squashed in the back, I had to face a bunch of guys in a metallic orange Corsa, who followed us for about a mile, leaning out of the windows, shouting, and making V signs at us.

Lupin said it was no more than Lewis Hamilton would have to put up with if he was on the motorway, which Carrie and I thought was irrelevant. Frank Mutlar came round in the evening, and Lupin went out with him.

2010-02-06T14:38:00.000Z

Exactly two weeks since we were invited round to Gowing’s house, only to find he wasn’t there. I’ve not heard a word from him. In the evening, Carrie was ironing some of my shirts. I was hanging them up and Carrie told me off for not doing up the buttons. Then Cummings came in.

He was fit and well again, and told me to get some wooden hangers from Matalan where they’re really cheap. I asked if Gowing had been in touch, and he said he hadn’t. I said I couldn’t believe Gowing could have behaved so shabbily. Cummings said, “I think you’re letting him off lightly. I’d say he behaved like a total shit”.

He’d barely said it when the door opened and in came Gowing. He said, “Can I come in?" I said, “Certainly”. Pointedly, Carrie said “Well, you are a stranger, aren’t you?" Gowing said “Yeah, I’ve been up and down to Croydon a lot over the past fortnight”. I could see that Cummings was getting really angry, and eventually he interrogated Gowing about what had happened last Saturday week. Gowing looked surprised and said, “I left a message on both your answer phones saying that the party was off – definitely off. And I don’t think your answer phones were off, like the party!”. Cummings said “Don’t try to be funny. I didn’t get any message”. Gowing said, “In the message I left for Charles, I told him to tell you as well, just to make doubly sure. Whatever, we must get together at my place sometime soon”. I said I hoped he’d put in an appearance next time. Carrie really laughed, and Cummings couldn’t help laughing too.

2010-02-05T14:00:00.000Z

It’s a nightmare trying to find decent sausages. They’re either rip-off “Taste the Difference” things with basil and god knows what in them, or else just bread, basically. I’m anxious about the £700 I invested through Lupin the other week. Mind you, Cummings did the same.

2010-01-23T13:59:00.000Z

Something very strange happened. Carrie and I went round to Gowing’s place (it’s in a block of new apartments) at half seven. We rang the buzzer a load of times, with no success. Then we knocked on the door, and a guy in a T-shirt opened it. He said, “Yeah? What is it?" I said “We’re trying to get hold of Mr Gowing in Apartment 4”. The man said, “He’s not here” (or at least, I think that’s what he said – I couldn’t really hear because there was some horrible dog yapping in the background). I said, “I’m sure he’ll be back soon”.

The guy slammed the door shut, and we were left outside, in the freezing cold. Carrie told me to knock again, and then I realised that the paint on the door was sticky and I’d got it all over my hands. So I hammered on it with my umbrella, and the man opened the door again. He said, “What the hell are you doing? Look – you’ve damaged the paint. Bloody idiot”.

I said, “Excuse me. There’s no call for that. We’re just trying to get up to Apartment 4 to see Mr Gowing who …”.

He interrupted and said “I don’t give a shit about Mr Gowing or his mates. This is a communal entrance. Who do you think I am? The concierge?”.

Still, this guy’s rudeness was nothing compared to Gowing’s. Then Cummings and his wife arrived. Cummings was walking with a stick and limping badly. He managed to get up the steps all the same, and asked what was going on.

The man said “I saw Mr Gowing this afternoon. He told me he was going down to Croydon and wasn’t going to be back ’til Monday. He was carrying a suitcase”.

Once again, he slammed the door. I was very, very angry with Gowing. Cummings was incandescent, whacked his stick on the ground, and shouted “Bastard!”.

2010-01-22T13:58:00.000Z

We’d just finished supper when all of a sudden Cummings turned up. He’d not been around for about three weeks. He wasn’t looking too well. I said, “How are you doing? You don’t look so good”. He said, “No, I’m not”. I said, “What’s the problem?" He said, “Oh nothing. Nothing to worry about. I’ve just been flat on my back for three weeks in bed. The doctor wanted to put me in hospital. Of course, no one’s bothered to get in touch. I might as well have been dead, for all anybody cared”.

I said, “But I didn’t know. Any time I passed your house, all the lights were on. Most of the time it looked like you had people round”.

Cummngs said, “The only people I’ve had round are the doctor, the physiotherapist and the chiropracter. He was absolutely brilliant by the way. I’m surprised you didn’t read about what happened in the paper”.

To cheer him up I said “Well, it looks like you’re making a good recovery”.

He said, “That’s not the issue, is it. The real issue is when you’re seriously ill, that’s when you find out who your true friends are”.

I said I thought that was pretty uncalled for. Then, to exacerbate the situation, Gowing comes in, slaps Cummings on the back and said, “Bloody hell! Have you seen a ghost? You look like Amy Winehouse”. I said, “Take it easy, Gowing. Apparently he’s been very ill”. Gowing laughed “Yeah, you look awful”. Cummings said, “I feel awful as well. Not that you care”.

There was an awkward silence. Gowing said, “No worries – come across to my place tomorrow with the wife. We’ll crack open a few bottles of vino. That’ll make you feel better”.

2010-01-21T13:58:00.000Z

The oak dining table arrived from John Lewis. Carrie put some tea lights in coloured glass holders down the length of it. It looks great, and makes the room a lot more welcoming.

2010-01-20T13:57:00.000Z

I asked Lupin to pop into Boots to change some hard Kent Hairbrushes he’d recently got me as a present for some softer ones. The barber tells me it might be wise with my hair being the way it is.

2010-01-19T13:57:00.000Z

Over the years, I’ve rarely lost my temper with the cleaners we’ve had, but I had to speak to Anya about a careless habit she has of shaking the tablecloth after breakfast and covering the carpet in crumbs which then get trodden in. Anya answered rudely “Always, you are complaining”. I replied “Actually, I’m not. I spoke to you last week about walking all round the living room with some soap stuck on your shoe”. She said “You moan always about the washing”. I said “I don’t. But when things get lost, or shrunk, or come out the wrong colour, I think it’s perfectly justifiable for me to complain”. She began to cry and make a scene, but luckily I had to head out for work, so I had an excuse for leaving her to it. Gowing left a message saying not to forget next Saturday. Carrie said, quite wittily, “As he’s never asked anyone across before, we’re hardly going to forget, are we”.

2010-01-18T13:56:00.000Z

I’m worried. Lupin’s now driving a Mazda RX8. I said “Lupin, this must be costing you a fortune”. He said, “Well, I’ve got to get into the city somehow. Anyway, it’s hire-purchase. I can get shot of it any time I like”. But I wouldn’t let it go. I said, “Yes, but what about the running costs? And the insurance, for God’s sake!”. He said, “Look mate, you don’t get it, do you?. In this business, you can’t drive around in a heap of junk like your Focus. My boss tells me if I stick at it, I’ll be earning serious dough soon. And I mean serious”. I told him I thought gambling on the stock market was immoral. He said, “It’s not gambling. It’s about information”. I told him that whatever take he had on it, he should still get rid of the car. He said, “Look, I made £7K in one day. OK, suppose I made £7K a month, or, in the worst case scenario, £3.5K. £400 a month for a car against that – it’s a pissy amount of money”.

I didn’t discuss it any further – just told him to be very very careful not to get into debt. “No worries” he said. “I only use other people’s money, and I only go on insider info”. I felt slightly relieved. Gowing popped in later, and I was surprised to hear he’d made £700 thanks to something Lupin had told him. He asked if we wanted to come round on Saturday, with the Cummings. We said we’d love to.

2010-01-08T13:56:00.000Z

My god! Barry told me I’d be getting a £3.5K rise. £3.5K! I was reckoning on maybe two thousand tops (given that there’s been a pay freeze for the last two years), but £3.5K! Carrie and I were dancing round the room. Lupin came home in good spirits. I popped down to Oddbins and got a bottle of champagne, which we opened at supper. “Lupin, I’ve got this in so we can raise a toast to some good news I’ve had”. Lupin said “Wicked. Buy One Get One Free! I’ve got good news as well, so a double whammy eh?” I said, “Lupin, I’ve carefully toed the party line and put 21 years dedicated service into my company. As a result, I’ve just been given promotion and a salary increase of £3,500”.

Lupin gave three cheers, hammered on the table, downed his champagne, shouted “fill ’er up” and stood up. He said “I’ve put a few months less-than-dedicated service in at Cleanands International Investment Brokers, but I covered my line manager’s back the other week (because he was having an affair with the receptionist) and he gave me some insider information. Today, I made £7K”. I said, “You’re joking”. He said “No mate, it’s true. It was spread-betting on some construction shares which bombed”.

2010-01-07T13:55:00.000Z

Barry called me in and said I was going to be promoted to Senior Administration Manager. I was over the moon. He said he’d have confirmation on the salary tomorrow. Another day’s uncertainty. At least it’s the right kind of uncertainty. I remembered I’d not spoken to Lupin about Daisy’s father’s e-mail, so I mentioned it in the evening after getting the go ahead from Carrie. Lupin was deeply immersed in the FT like he was some kind of city boy. I said, “I was wondering why you’d not been round to the Mutlars’ this week”.

Lupin said, “I thought I’d told you. I can’t stand Daisy’s old fart of a father”. I said, “Well Daisy’s father wrote to me to say he doesn’t think that highly of you”.

Lupin said, “Cheeky bastard. Writing to you! If his dad’s still alive, I’ll write to him and complain that his son’s an arsehole”.

I said, “Lupin, not in front of your mother”.

Lupin said, “Sorry. But that’s what he is. There’s no way I’m going round there again”.

I said, “Lupin, he’s barred you from the house”.

Lupin said, “Yeah, whatever. It amounts to the same thing. Daisy’s still cool though”.

2010-01-06T13:54:00.000Z

I was really on edge when I went to the office. Then I found out from Barry’s PA that he was going to be working remotely all day. In the evening, Lupin had his head buried in the paper. Suddenly he looked up and said, “Mate, what do you know about heat-pumps?" I said, “Nothing”. Lupin said, “Well, I’ll give you a tip. It’s the next big thing in renewables, and safe as pharma stock. I’d buy ’em”. I said something very very clever. “Pharma stock – I thought that was bullocks”. Carrie and I fell about laughing. Lupin didn’t take any notice, even though I repeated it. I carried on, “Hey, I’ll give you a tip: if you’re a waiter!”. Finally, I said “The other thing about tips – they’re usually full of rubbish!” Lupin looked at me witheringly and said “You should be introducing Countdown”.

2010-01-05T13:54:00.000Z

I was on tenterhooks all day. I didn’t want to interrupt Barry, but he didn’t ask me in, so eventually I went and knocked on his door. He said “Charles! What’s up?" I said, “Barry, I thought you and I were, you know, well, possibly going to have a brief chat about things today?" He said, “Oh, yeah. I remember. Look, things have gone a bit mental. Can we do it tomorrow?"

2010-01-04T13:53:00.000Z

I was going to pack this in last week, but something significant happened today, so I’ll carry on a bit longer. It was just after half one, and I was about to take my lunch break, when I got an e-mail from Barry Perkupp saying he wanted to see me immediately. I felt a bit uneasy.

Barry was on the phone in his office, and motioned me to take a seat, but I indicated I’d stand. His conversation went on for a good twenty minutes. It seemed like hours. Eventually, Barry rang off and stood up.

I said, “I hope there isn’t a problem, Barry?"

He replied, “No, no, quite the reverse. Well, I don’t think there is”. That was a relief.

Barry said “John Buckling’s about to retire, so we’re going to need to re-organise. You’ve been with us for – what is it? Twenty one years? Retention levels are something we’re very proud of here. We’ve considered your input and experience, and we’d like to offer you promotion. We’ve not hammered out the exact details, but it’ll mean a significant rise in salary. I’ve got a meeting at two: let’s talk tomorrow”.

He picked up his Blackberry and walked out. I didn’t even have time to thank him. Carrie was delighted. She said, “Oh, fantastic. We’ll be able to get that oak dining table” and I said, “Yes, and you’ll get that lovely Laura Ashley outfit, if it’s still in the sale”.

2009-12-31T13:53:00.000Z

New Year’s Eve. I got a strange letter from Mr Mutlar:

Dear Charles,

I’ve been trying to sort something out – namely who’s in charge in my own home. Is it me, or is it your son Lupin? I’ve tried not to be biased, but on balance I’ve decided that actually it’s me. In which case, I don’t want him round here again. I’m sorry, because it means I’ll miss out on the company of one of the most modest, unassuming, well-mannered young men I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting.

I didn’t want the year to end unhappily, so I didn’t mention the letter to Carrie or Lupin.

There was a really thick fog. Lupin decided he’d go out all the same, but promised he’d be back to see the new year in. It’s something of a custom with us. At quarter to, there was no sign of him, so I got out a new bottle of whisky. Carrie said it tasted like brandy. I knew it was whisky, for definite, told her so, and said that was the end of it. Carrie – obviously irritated because Lupin hadn’t shown up – said it wasn’t the end of it, because it was brandy, and said she’d lay a fiver on it. She said it must have been own-brand stuff which had been labelled wrong, or something. We had a stupid argument. Next thing, we discovered it was a quarter past twelve, and for the first time since we’d been married, we’d not toasted the new year in. Lupin got in after two, claiming he’d got lost in the fog.

2009-12-30T13:52:00.000Z

Lupin spent the whole day round at the Mutlars. He seemed pretty up-beat in the evening, so I said “I’m really glad to see you’re so happy Lupin”. He replied, “Daisy’s fantastic, but her dad’s an idiot, and I had to point a few things out to him. He’s really stingy with the drinks, turns the lights out the minute you leave a room, won’t turn the central heating on, and buys everything in Lidl. He bangs on about carbon emissions and minding the pennies all the time. I had to tell him not to be such a tight-arse”. I said, “Lupin, you’re young. I hope you won’t end up regretting it”.

2009-12-29T13:51:00.000Z

I had a really vivid dream last night. I woke up, and when I went back to sleep, I had it all over again. In the dream, Frank Mutlar was telling his sister that he’d sent me the Christmas card, and he’d slapped me on the head. As luck would have it, at breakfast time Lupin was looking at an annotated script he’d got from Frank.

I asked him to pass it over, so that I could take a look at the handwriting. I put it next to the envelope the card had come in. The writing looked similar, despite the attempt at disguise. I passed them to Carrie. She started to laugh. I asked her what was so funny, and she said the card wasn’t addressed to me at all. It was to “L.Pooter”, not “C.Pooter”. Lupin looked at it and said “Oh yeah, it’s for me”. I said “You don’t normally receive such unpleasant cards, do you?" He said, “Sure. And I send plenty too”.

In the evening, Gowing came by and said he’d had a great time last night. I mentioned to him about having been slapped on the head. He burst out laughing and said, “Oh, it was your head was it? I knew I’d accidentally hit something, but I thought it was the wall”. I told him I felt hurt, in both senses of the term.

2009-12-28T13:51:00.000Z

Lupin came down to breakfast and said “Frank and Daisy are still coming. It’d be nice for them to see Gowing and Cummings this evening”. I was pleased with him for doing this. Carrie said “Thanks for telling me. I can use up some of the turkey my mother gave me”. She said she’d make some mince pies and get some clotted cream.

Since Lupin was in a good mood, I took him aside and asked if he had some problem with Gowing or Cummings. He said, “Not that I know of. I think Cummings looks a bit of a twat with his Pringle sweaters. As for Gowing’s taste in cardigans – well, he looks like he should be in a residential home”.

I said (cleverly) “I think you’ll find a man is more than the sum of his knitwear”. Lupin, laughing, said “Yeah, but what kind of a nit wears stuff like that?”

It was quite a happy meal. Daisy was pleasant. At the table, though, she started rolling up bits of bread and said “Hey, can anyone make animals out of bread?” and moulded some into the shape of a giraffe. I thought it was bad manners, but didn’t say anything. Daisy and Lupin started throwing bits of bread at each other, Frank joined in, and – unforgiveably – so did Cummings and Gowing. Then they started chucking whole chunks of stick-loaf around, and a crust hit me on the forehead. I said “Steady on” and Frank jumped up and shouted “Yabba dabba doo”.

I hadn’t a clue what he meant, but they all cracked up, and went on with their bread battle. Gowing grabbed some rocket leaves off a plate, and threw them right in my face. I gave him a really sharp look and he said, “Don’t try looking angry. It doesn’t work. Not with a load of lettuce on your head”. I got up from the table and told them to pack it in. Frank shouted “Time gentlemen please” and turned out the lights. I was feeling my way towards the light switch, when I felt a sharp slap on the back of my head. I said, “Who did that?" No one said anything. I asked again. No result. I turned the lights back on. Everyone was chatting and laughing, so I didn’t make anything more of it. Later I said to Carrie, “I bet you whoever sent that rude Christmas card was here tonight”.

2009-12-27T13:50:00.000Z

I told Lupin that Gowing and Cummings would be coming over tomorrow evening. I was hoping he’d want to stay in and have a laugh with them. But he said, “Cancel that. I’ve asked Daisy and Frank over”. I said I wasn’t going to cancel it. He said “OK, I’ll text her and tell her it’s off”.

Carrie had been listening, and was annoyed. She had a go at Lupin, saying “Any reason why you don’t want Daisy meeting your dad’s friends? Aren’t they good enough for her? Or perhaps, equally possible, she’s not good enough for them?" Lupin looked shocked, and said nothing. When he left the room, I gave Carrie a kiss, by way of approval.

2009-12-26T13:50:00.000Z

I didn’t get much sleep last night. I never do in a strange bed. I had a bit of heartburn (hardly surprising at this time of year). We came home in the evening. Lupin got back late. He said he’d had a great time, and added “I’m fit as a fiddle. Almost as good as a stradivarius. Awesome”. I’ve given up trying to work out what the hell he’s talking about half the time.